Car Crashes to Scarlet Fever: Scared of them all.

Also, I just found out about what this guy did, but it's still an amazing worship song. Don't hate on the song and Hillsong because of what Michael Guglielmucci has done, they didn't have any idea. 

This song has always been pretty powerful to me since 8th grade when I was having bad health issues. I distinctly remember singing my heart out in worship with this song one Wednesday night at youth group last year. If you didn't know, I got into a bad skiing accident January of last year which gave me chronic back pain, neck pain, and headaches. I tried everything to stop the pain from my injury but nothing was working and I was singing out to God, "I believe you're my healer! Heal me! How much more can I take??" because honestly I'd been telling myself over and over again and others that God will heal me and I'm just waiting on him to do it, whenever he does it; but it's still so hard to really believe it. As summer started to roll out I finally got completely better, God followed through.

Almost exactly one year after my ski accident I was in bad car accident giving me problems similar to my ski injury but worse. I’m still recovering from it. I do believe now that with all my heart God is my healer.


To take kind of an opposite direction, I’m naturally a fearful person. Protective, motherly, fearful, cautious, oh and very emotional; that’s me. My car accident kind of started me on not a good path to being too fearful. Right after my car accident I was scared of being in a car. Then I was scared of driving, which is sort of a necessity. I eventually got over those; well the driving still scares me a little bit. Anyway, the school year got harder and harder so naturally I got more and more exhausted. In February, we started reading The Bell Jar, the book I posted about a little while ago. It bothered me a lot. It made me freaked out and paranoid that I would like her go crazy and do what she attempted to do. If you know me, this is really illogical. I love life and would never do such a thing. It still scared me.

Then, in the days afterwards the topic of suicide came up again and again and happened to someone from the high school I would have gone to in Oregon. I was beyond freaked out. Normally I would be freaked out about something but would then realize it wouldn’t happen. Ex. After I read Little Women when Beth died of Scarlet Fever I was soooooo worried I too would died from Scarlet Fever. Then I found out that the disease is extinct and even if I did have it we would just go to the doctor and I’d be fine.

Still, this was real though. It was close to me and nothing had ever scared me more. I was emotionally exhausted and scared while my body was trying to piece itself back together in the middle of my stress and little amounts of sleep. Every day I have to remind myself that God is with me all the time. He is all that I need. I have to remind myself of this verse that I’ve memorized and held close to my heart.

Psalm 91:7 A thousand my fall at my side, ten thousand at my right hand, but it will not come near me.
As long as I have Jesus I know that I will be fine. My fear about grades, sickness, going crazy, all of it, has no place in my life when Jesus is there. The Devil is the father of lies and God is the God of truth!

2 Timothy 1:7 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that everyone that has Jesus has nothing to fear. God is your shield and rampart and will not let your foot slip! And you’re not the only one afraid of the future, everyone has dealt with it, but the thing is, everyone can have freedom too, through Jesus Christ!

P.S. It's almost summer! Here's a picture gorgeous picture (hahaha oh my backyard taken with my cellphone but still...) of God's goodness (: