Gross Milk

So last night I had a dream that I was at someones house or something and in their fridge they had whole milk, 2%, 1%, skim and then this other type that I've never seen before that was supposed to have like half the amount of fat as skim milk (which has 0% that's why it's skim) and so I tried it because it was 37 calories! I don't know why I remembered that bit of it but yeah I love milk and 37 is pretty good for milk. Long story short I tried the very watery milk (because how could you get any less calories in milk than skim?) which looked just down right seen through and gross. I think I spit it out because it tasted so bad. I don't know how milk could taste that bad, but it did.


To me, it just seems ridiculous to change milk THAT much to make it low calorie and fat, because at that point it just isn't

even appetizing anymore. Who would want to drink that?


My really weird dream got me thinking about how WE change things so much to please others and ourselves that those things end up tasting bad. We take something good and healthy (like milk) and try to change it so much so that it "looks okay" or is now "acceptable" (37 calories for one cup).


We take exercise, eating right, treating ourselves to not the healthiest foods, tanning, shopping, you name it, to the extreme so that now we "look" good or are now "acceptable" because of what we have or how we look.


I think the biggest one I can think of that we change and limit down so that we "look okay" is Christianity. Maybe that has a bad taste it your mouth.


Well, too many Christians don't take the Bible at what it says, don't know the Word (which I'm really coming to realize about myself, so I'm changing that! ASAP!), and don't take the time to know God. Let's be honest, it takes effort to completely go after Jesus. It's hard, but it's so worth it. All you have to do is try your hardest and you won't leave a poor taste in other's mouths. Even more importantly you won't leave a horrible taste in God's mouth.

Revelation 3:15-16 

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 

So stop trying to limit God, KNOW your Bible, and don't try to change ANYTHING about yourself to please others because you are perfect how God made you. 

It's a girl thing.

Sadly. This girl this is not a good thing.

I've realized that so many girls struggle with feeling beautiful. Which is ridiculous, because every girl and woman I've met is so stinkin' gorgeous. Maybe there's a hidden population of ladies who are ugly, but so far I haven't seen them!

The thing is, who is to say that you are beautiful? God delights, he jumps up and down, wizzes around in circles with JOY and PRIDE at what he's created each time he thinks of you, which is ALL the time. So, you pretty much make the Lord of all creation giddy 24/7 just because of how you naturally are.

God is the maker of Heaven and Earth and if he thought you weren't perfect, don't you think he would've done something about that by now? Don't you see how beautiful you are?

Satan always wants to get your goat. And if part of that is making you feel bad about yourself, then by all means he's going to do it! He knows the secret. If each and every girl out there knew how wonderful and loved she is by God (and so many others!) she would be confident. And the last thing that Satan wants is a world full of bright, confident, Christian women.

You have to have confidence in who you are and how you are made. We're all made different. Ask a girl who's thin with not much curves who she wants to look. She'll say she wishes she had more curves. Ask a more full bodied and curvy girl how she wants to look and she'll say she wants to be thin and have a smaller chest and butt. That's how it is. But that's NOT how it has to be!

Everyone has days where they feel unhappy with their body. We all have them. I do. A lot more days than I should I feel unhappy with my body. For me, my healthy body is not a size 2, my frame isn't built like that. For some girls, they're made a size 0 that's how they're supposed to be! I think the important thing so to be healthy and to be happy.

On the days you don't feel beautiful on the outside, there's still a way to feel beautiful. It's on the inside. I don't know if you've read Proverbs 31. It talks about well, a godly woman that every girl wants to be. It even gives you instructions on how to become her! What about that! (Click here to read the full chapter! I highly suggest it!)

I especially like 

Proverbs 31:25-26

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

    she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,

    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

The key to beauty on the inside is having confidence. Being able to laugh and have joy when things look bleak, scary, and just down right horrible. Being upbeat when you feel like there's no way out, because there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. There is ALWAYS hope. The key is speaking with kindness, wisdom, and uplifting words that help. 

Called

This morning in Sunday school the question was asked, "What do you feel like God is calling you to do?"

Honestly, that's a really tough question to answer sometimes. At some points, I know exactly what it is. At others, I'm totally lost and just trying to trust that God holds my future in his hand and knows my plans.

For the far future I know that I'm called to be a Missionary OB/GYN (Obstetrician&Gynecologist) in Africa and around the world, be specifically Africa. That's where my heart is. And I feel like part of me getting there is me going to Wheaton College for my Undergrad/Pre-Med. It's ranked highly amoung top secular universities but has the strong Christian Conservative atmosphere which is so important to me as well as their strong devotion and tie to missions.

But what about in the short run? In the right now I mean? That's where I sometimes feel lost.

One thing I know is that I'm called to love and to not worry and to live for God.

Big emphasis on the love and the trust part. If I do the first two, then the third is happening. If I'm truly loving others the way Christ does and loving God, then I am living for God.

This past week I went to kids camp with my church as a Counselor in Training and it was one of the best weeks of my life. I was so blessed by those 9 little girls in my cabin. They had no drama, were all well behaved, so funny and entertaining, and they loved me. Not to be conceited or anything, but they did and I love each of them. Their love and affection blessed me this week.

My mom said, "The reason they love you is because you love them."

And that's so true. It's so much easier to love someone when they love you. I felt unconditional love towards each of those girls in my cabin and they just loved right back.

The far left is the counselor and our great Children's Pastor and I'm on the far right of course!
In the middle is our nine girls (:
This was at laser tag on the first day of camp!

Jesus loves me just like I love those girls, but even more amazingly and unconditionally. I would probably get upset and angry and not want to be around one of them if they hurt me really bad, annoyed me to the ends of the earth, cut off my hair, or insulted me.

Good thing I'm not Jesus. Because if Jesus acted like I might to those little girls who I love so so so so so much, then I would just have no hope. Let's face the truth, we're all sinners (Romans 3:23 you know the one.) and have no chance of trying to live good enough to get to heaven. Not even the most "perfect" person would be close enough to just make it into heaven on the seat of their pants without Jesus.

WITH Jesus, the worst person you can think of can fly in higher than anyone else. WITH Jesus we can all be saved and spend eternity with Him forever. With no fear, worry, or pain. And with everlasting love abounding in every way.

The key is repentance. We're all called to repentance and redemption through Jesus. I'm called to repentance and redemption right now too so that I can love and live for God.

Romans 3:22-24 

This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.  

So to answer the first question, I'm called by God to love others as best as I can no matter what, trust Jesus, and know that I am saved through Jesus only because I am a sinner, saved by grace. It's hard to not get caught up in thinking that good deeds alone with save us.

Fear

So maybe I shouldn't be writing this at 12:43 am in my very emotional state I'm in right now. It's been a little bit oh a doozy of a week to say the least. I've cried a lot and laughed and cried and laughed and gotten not as much sleep as I need and what put me over the edge to blubbering away to my mom on our deck while the mosquitoes ate us alive was almost running over a deer while driving home a few hours ago. Let me just saw thank goodness for moms, sweat shirts that are okay if mascara and tears get all over them, the stars at night, and the wondering wicker love seat on our deck. I don't know where I'd sit in the summer if it weren't for that thing. Let's just saw\y I'm having a trust issue right now with one person. And that person is God.

I'm Facebook chatting (yes people still do that every so often) with one of my best friends and I just kinda vented to her about what I'm going through and how hard it is to trust God. It's not easy folks! It's hard to give up control and all my insecurities and just leave it in God's hands. He gives me every example of his strength and power and control. Still I'm just a stubborn mule. The thing that really gets me is fear. The Enemy gives me every example too of things I could be afraid of. One thing I'm realizing is that those "examples" from the Devil are examples of people trying to control their lives and not God.

That's one thing about the Devil. You. Are. Smarter. Than. Him. When. You. Have. JESUS. 


These things he tries to throw at me are really things God is going to and is already using to break me free from bondage of fear I'm in.

I feel like everyday God shows me ways that he is in control. The sun rises. I'm breathing. My family is healthy. I got through the school year. I have tons of blessings around me called friends and family.

Honesty: Sometimes in my thick head, I can't see the goodness around me in a certain situation and it makes me doubt the goodness of God's plan.

Honesty also: Sometimes I'm stupid. And sometimes I read Bible verses like this

Psalm 23:6  Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever. 

and this

Jeremiah 29:14  I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

and it smacks me in the face saying, "WOMAN! DON'T YOU GET IT? MY PLAN IS WAY BETTER THAN YOURS GET OVER YOURSELF! I MAKE PROMISES AND KEEP THEM! "

Since by this time it's 1 am and I'm a little out of it sorry for anything that doesn't make sense.

Anyways. What I'm trying to say is, it's HARD to trust God. I think everyone struggles with it. Well maybe not everyone but I sure do. I struggle with trust and fear and so if you struggle with fear like I do, then you should memorize these verses because honestly they comfort me so much.

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid!" (Jesus)

Matthew 17:7 But Jesus came and touched them. "Get up," he said. "Don't be afraid."

Luke 12:32 "Do not be afraid, little flock for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom."

Mark 4:40 He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

Broken

Sometimes there's things even glue won't fix. Sometimes there's hurts that take forever to heal. Sometimes the pain is just for a moment. And sometimes it feels like the brokenness can never be fixed.

Let me just tell you right here and now, I'm a crier. I cry when I see other people cry. I cry during sad movies. I occasionally cry of happiness. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm mad. I cry when I'm hurt. I cry when I feel broken.

I feel like personally our culture says that it's okay to show your emotion and your hurt but really it's hard. I feel like we all feel as though if we show our jagged edges and gaps everyone will see. And they'll judge and they won't accept us and no one will understand. I know I feel that way. It's hard to open up. Especially when I really open up I start to cry. My mascara runs (I know I'm a girly girl and maybe that's super ridiculous but I still don't like it) and my nose runs and my eyes get all puffy and red and you can tell I've been crying.

Times in my life I have been hurt by people I opened up to and trusted. I've also learned that when I open up, more times than the hurtful ones, I've been so blessed because of it. There's such an emphasis on perfection that when you show your scars and your imperfection, people notice. In a good way. They see the cracks and realize they're not alone. It's a wonderful thing to know you're not alone. And let me tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There's people hurting in the ways you are too. It's hard to see behind the walls we put up but once you take them down, the healing can become. When you let people inside your walls, they can bring their loving arms and words of encouragement and their fixing materials.

When I've been vulnerable to people in my life that I admire and trust and are women of God, they've prayed for me, lifted me up, and let me know I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who's struggling. I'm not the only one who's sick and tired and feels like I can go on.

Know that you ARE NOT ALONE!

If you feel like there's no one for you to open up to, let me let you in on a secret. #1. Pretty much 99% of the time your parents (YES I SAID PARENTS AND I AM A TEENAGE GIRL) have wisdom and knowledge they can't wait to share with you! Your parents love you more than anybody else and will sit and talk with you and listen to you and share things they've learned and I know if you just listen too you'll see what a blessing they are in your life. Okay #2. God is listening. Most people probably think Jesus has no clue what hurting is like. I mean he's God and perfect and so he probably never felt the pain that I feel, right? Right? Wrong. Sorry to burst your bubble. But even Jesus felt hurt. He feels hurt. He cried. He felt angry. He had emotions. He was happy. He even felt alone and like God had left him right before he was crucified on the cross. Now there's somethin'! Jesus understands when you feel alone, when you feel like no one wants you or loves you, when you fail a test or even class, when you feel disappointed with yourself. Jesus felt the loneliness so that you never ever have to. As a Child of God, God will never leave you or harm you! He's got your back and understands your problems.  #3. This might sound cliche or not good in your ears, but there are people in your church that love you and are trustworthy. They are there. Chances are that there's at least one person in your church that has gone through something similar to you and I KNOW there is at least one person who is willing to take time to just listen to you and lift you up.

When I cry, I almost always try to cover it up. I feel like people stare at me and wonder, "Oh what's wrong with her?" but mostly when I cry, some one who was sent from God to me asks me what's wrong or what's up or just sits there and maybe cries with me or just sits there comforting me or prays for me. They almost always pray. And I believe in the healing power of prayer. It lets me know that I am NOT ALONE.

I guess what I want to say here is that it's okay to be broken. It's okay to be upset. Things get better. It's totally okay to cry because sometimes that's the only vent for all the hurt to go out of. Jesus understands. And more than anything else YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

If you're feeling broken and a bit dusty listen to this. 

John 11:35 Jesus wept.

Matthew 27:45-46 Now from noon until three, darkness came over all the land.  At about three o’clock Jesus shouted with a loud voice,  “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Mark 3:21 When his family heard this they went out to restrain him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”

John 7:5 For not even his own brothers believed in him.

youtube lovin'

Genesis 21:6 God has given me laughter!

I now interrupt this normal blog post for some of my favorite hilarious youtube videos because we all need a little extra laughter in our days, especially one Mondays! 

Glozell. She's timeless and hilarious and I feel bad laughing so hard at this video but it's impossible to not laugh your sides out.

Again. Glozell. You can skip until like the last third of the video, honestly that's the.best.part. 

Part 1. I first saw this on this girls blog. If you don't follow her blog, do it. You'll get hooked, especially as she's sharing the story of her and her fiance. You'll get hooked instantly. 

And then  there's the sequel. So funny. 

I really don't understand why I think her videos are so funny and but they are, and she has more just like this one so you should spend like half an hour on youtube and watch them if you think this one's funny!

Okay this one really doesn't make any sense why it cracks me up but my oldest brothers girlfriend showed it to me and everything we watch together is instantly 10000000x funnier. 

She also showed me this one. 

And this is us watching it last January. Maybe that's embarrassing, maybe not... 

I know I love to laugh and it's a great stress reliever so I hope you thought some of these videos were funny (: 

God Bless and it's almost summer!!